By Laurence Halsted, former Olympic fencer, current Performance Director at Danish Fencing, and Co-Director of The True Athlete Project's Mentoring Program. (Read Part 2 and Part 3 of Laurence's 3-Part Series) Self-compassion training would help athletes focus better on their performance, gain a healthier relationship to their sport and improve their general well-being. If we trained all our athletes in self-compassion, we would have a generation of much more balanced and outwardly compassionate people who were motivated more for the love of self-improvement rather than fear of self-criticism. If you work on the ground level with competitive athletes you will probably experience that one of the most common mental issues, from youth levels all the way up to senior elite, is the harmful effect of negative emotions that arise from mistakes, disappointments or frustration about performances. Athletes all too commonly beat themselves up for making mistakes or disappointing results, and that in turn takes a psychological toll, potentially affecting following performances. They also tend to be their own worst critics, much harsher on themselves than they would be to a teammate in the same position. Athletes think that they need to feel this way, that their capacity to criticise themselves is an integral part of why they are successful at their sport. They rationalise that it forces them to work harder because they ‘hate losing so much’ and they can’t be satisfied with anything less than perfect. Underneath this rationalisation is the worry that if they didn’t feel awful after making mistakes or losing, that would mean they don’t care enough to perform well. I should know, having had that exact mindset for much of my sports career. I used to take losing deeply to heart. At the same time I almost welcomed the pain, because it showed how much I cared and how much I wanted to be better. This mindset is often accepted and even appreciated in sport culture- the consummate professional athlete, always striving, never satisfied, unaccepting of anything less than perfect. But it is based on a fallacy, and one that is creating a huge amount of damage to individual athletes’ well-being and to their performances and on top of that is limiting sport from reaching its true potential in the world. The power of those negative emotions can be motivating, but it is a motivation based on fear and a desire to avoid the inevitable backlash and self-judgement that comes from failure. It is far more often distracting from the process of performance than it is beneficial. If we truly want our athletes to be able to stay focused and calm under pressure then it doesn’t make sense that we allow them to continue to beat themselves up if things don’t go well. Some athletes can train themselves to master that fear and go on to great things, but vastly more will quit or burnout early in their careers because the mental-emotional toll is just too great. The fact that those people do not want to put up with such consistent and negative self-judgement should not mean that they must leave competitive sport for good. Especially because there is a better path to follow, one that can make for a much healthier relationship between an athlete and their own performance and that can also lead to improve the performance itself. I am grateful to have been shown this alternate path whilst still in the throes of my own athletic career, and I can testify to the vast improvement that comes with it, both as an athlete and as a person. The basis of this approach is in training self-compassion, to be used at moments of suffering such as there are many in competitive sport. At its heart, self-compassion is about treating yourself with the same kindness that you would a close friend, to be forgiving, understanding and sympathetic, and to recognise that inadequacy and making mistakes is part of the human condition. It would be like having an inner dialogue that resembles a combination of a kindly coach and your closest teammate. They would be endlessly encouraging and forgiving, because they want you to do your best but they don’t want you to suffer needlessly. Of course, you don’t deserve to suffer simply for missing a shot or losing a match. For many athletes it’s easy to play the forgiving teammate role, because deep down they know that’s how they will get the best from their teammate, but it becomes much harder to play that role for themselves. This holds true for much of the general population, especially in the west, where kindness to friends, family or neighbours is highly valued but kindness to oneself is perceived as selfish, narcissistic or too soft. Self-Compassion as a trait has been shown to pay off dividends in terms of psychological well-being and it is ideally suited to creating a healthier sport culture whilst helping athletes perform better at the same time. Research into self-compassion gained momentum around 2004, with researchers describing it as being made up of three parts which combine to make for a more balanced, healthy approach to life’s struggles. These three parts are: Self-kindness- Essentially treating yourself as you would a good friend. Instead of having a critical or disparaging inner dialogue, we offer ourselves warmth and acceptance. Common Humanity- Recognising that mistakes and inadequacy are common to all human beings. We are all flawed in our own ways but often when considering our own shortcomings and struggles we tend to feel isolated whilst thinking that everyone else is doing just fine. It’s much more comforting, and logical to recognise that everyone is in the same boat, and that life’s challenges and personal failures are all part of what it means to be human. Mindfulness- This is about being aware in the present moment, with balance and without judgement of what is happening in your mind. Mindfulness is essential to self-compassion because you must first become aware that you are suffering in order to help yourself. A key part of mindfulness is not to be swept away by your thoughts and emotions but to simply notice them. When you over-identify with a thought or emotion it goes without saying that you are not in a balanced place from which to consider how you want to react to it, you are not mindful but instead are caught up in your minds’ tumult. Let’s consider these concepts and explore how they relate back to sport. Self-kindness Self-kindness has such powerful implications for athletes, but at the same time is almost an alien concept to many. I would even go as far as saying that self-kindness is one of the most under-rated mental tools available to athletes. Sport culture teaches all too often that it’s good to be hard on yourself, to be self-critical to the extreme until you have reached your goals. What follows from that logic is that self-kindness, forgiveness, acceptance will undermine your motivation to reach your goals. I will go into more detail about the myths and misunderstandings around self-compassion in the second article in this series, but for now I will point out the glaring reality that seems to be hidden from view to many. When self-criticism does succeed to motivate, it is born from a desire to avoid the harsh self-judgement that follows an unsatisfactory performance. Essentially it is born from fear. But when we fear the consequences of failure we inhibit our ability to push our limits, take risks and even our willingness to try in the first place. Using self-kindness to eliminate those fears, gives us motivation simply and powerfully, because we care. We want the best for ourselves, to be our best selves, and to do things that will make us happier, better people such as taking on challenges and learning new skills. This is motivation born from love. Research has shown that people who are kinder to themselves have less fear of failure, and when they do fail are more likely to try again. This would make sense because self-compassion requires that we be aware of our weaknesses but without attaching judgement, which provides a solid, positive foundation to work to improve on them. To conceptualise these two different approaches, you can call to mind two different coaches. One is ruthlessly critical when their athletes or team messes up, puts them down and constantly highlights their failings. The other is the compassionate coach, who reassures their players that it is human to make mistakes, keeps the focus on how they can improve on their weaknesses, and gives them the support to work on those goals without fear of reproach. Now think about which coach will most likely get the most out of their players and equally importantly which coach athletes would most want to work with. It is the compassionate coach’s voice that we want to implant into the minds of our athletes, to give them a healthy and stable psychological foundation from which to build. This would also have significant knock-on effects for the culture of sport, stemming from the wisdom and generosity of compassion training, which I will arrive at in article three of the series. Common Humanity Gaining a greater sense of common humanity brings with it a broader perspective which helps to put a sport performance in a more appropriate context. Athletes under pressure can get trapped in a mindset that feels like the whole world hangs in the balance: often described as catastrophic thinking. All sport is a game, and though there can be lots of money involved and it is a livelihood for many, it’s vitally important, for performance and general well-being to be able to keep things in a healthy perspective. The idea that ‘we are all in the same boat, battling the waves of human existence together’ is much more comforting and motivating than thinking we are each an island with our own, unique troubles. Creating more awareness of our common experience can also help athletes develop respect for their teammates and competitors. Far preferable to the old adage of ‘us against them’ is the idea that we com-pete, i.e. strive together, and push each other to be the best we can be. A great example of this type of approach is in the story of a Taekwondo coach I know, who, at the top of his game, lost a close fight to a rival in a world championships. In the embrace afterwards, his opponent told him ‘thank you for giving me this opportunity’. This fighter understood that to achieve his own potential he needed someone equally strong to push him to achieve it. Mindfulness Mindfulness has been used by elite athletes for over 40 years to gain more control over their minds and therefore their reactions at emotionally charged moments. Mindfulness training is particularly effective for creating calmness in times of need and for detaching from the power of negative or distracting emotions. It is also increasingly being recognised for its connection to the experience of flow or being in the zone, as both require an all-encompassing present-focus. Thousands of years of experience has shown us very clearly that you can indeed train your brain to be more present and aware, and the implications of this for sport performance are enormous. Considering the vital role of mindfulness in enhancing self-compassion on top of the benefits above, it is a wonder that it is not already a more established part of athlete development culture. I am sure that many of you reading right now are of the opinion that this all sounds nice, but it’s missing the cutting edge that athletes need to succeed. Self-compassion is clearly a good thing to strive for, but its place is in Buddhist retreats rather than elite training camps. These are among the most common misunderstandings surrounding self-compassion that I will address in the next article in this mini-series. In the west we are much more familiar with the importance of being kind to others than we are with being kind to ourselves. It’s important, then, to get to grips with what it means to be self-compassionate and especially to understand the basis of any misconceptions we may have. If you want to know more about self-compassion and the research, a good starting place is Dr Kristin Neff’s website: http://self-compassion.org/ Or this excellent and thorough introductory article by Kristin Neff and Christopher Germer: Self-Compassion and Psychological Well-being http://self-compassion.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/09/Neff.Germer.2017.pdf Get in Touch! If you are an elite or former elite athlete and find resonance with this type of self-compassionate approach in your sporting experience, I would love to hear from you about your experience. Please contact me at: [email protected] ![]() Laurence Halsted is the co-director of The True Athlete Project's mentoring program. He was a foil fencer who won a silver medallist in the 2008 European Championships and represented Great Britain at the 2012 and 2016 Olympic Games. He is the director of performance at Danish Fencing and has written for The Guardian and The Nation on athlete activism. Read one of Laurence's latest articles here: https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2018/aug/06/trump-lebron-james-nba-star-true-role-model
52 Comments
Cade Wilson
9/26/2018 05:18:36 pm
This is a new concept for me, I think that this approach to self-analysis is super interesting and there's is so much in this article that I could personally relate to in my own performance. I have taken a lot from this and I really look forward to continuing with these. I've also shared this with friends as I think there is so much beneficial information here for any athlete.
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11/27/2019 12:11:28 pm
Developing self-compassion is all about developing kindness for yourself. Self-compassion is related to self-esteem. And self-esteem is something that relies on your accomplishment. If you comprehend compassion as a whole, then you would feel self-kindness for yourself. Self-compassion can boost inner contentment and optimism. By using positive affirmations, and practicing mindfulness, you can develop self-compassion. As long as, you have compassion for your self, you could accomplish all possible goals.
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2/13/2020 07:24:57 am
Players are the representators of their countries at the international level that’s why they need to be supported by everyone. Every country should respect their athletes who make that specific country famous in the world by performing nicely in international tournaments.
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3/2/2020 04:07:26 am
If we are going to understand that athletes are passionate people, we are going to appreciate them even more. The case nowadays is that we don't appreciate athletes that much because we don't see the process they had to deal with before going to the competition. Only if we are going to see all their efforts! The need to balance everything while succeeding in every field of life is somehow challenging. But they need to keep on their minds that they still need to do it anyway!
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Mary Elliott
2/1/2025 12:32:02 pm
I'm so happy that I finally won $13.3 million Mega lottery , I took an advice from some person who talked about this great spell caster called Dr Emmanuel the person placed a testimonies on a blog saying how Dr Emmanuel helped him win the lottery by sending him the winning number I was curious and I thought it was all joke not until I contacted this spell caster to know for myself how this work cause I have spend a lot buying tickets and I never win. I contacted him and he told me the necessary thing that need to be done and I did it and he told me to wait for 3days and truly he gave me the winning numbers to play the lottery which I did, Can you believe my name was the first among winners. He told me (my son all I need you to do for me is make sure that you share this testimonies to others so that they can also win the lottery cause I do not have much time to spend on the internet) so that is why I am sharing this testimony with you that if you want to win the lottery this is how you will reach him through his Email address: [email protected] This is the only answer to that your problem of winning the lottery.You can also contact him Throug his Zangi 10-9104-0505
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Olivia Noah
2/3/2025 10:40:00 am
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Mary Robinson
2/3/2025 05:32:49 pm
Good day to everyone reading my post, i'm here to appreciate a legitimate spell caster call Dr Kachi who can help you winning the lottery draw, i have never win a biggest amount in lottery unite the day i saw good reviews about DR Kachi how he has helped a lot of people in different ways both financially/martially and i have been playing Mega Million for 8years now, but things suddenly change the moment i contacted Dr Kachi and explained everything to me about the spell and I accepted. I followed his instructions and played the Mega Million with the numbers he gave me, now i am a proud lottery winner with the help of Dr Kachi spell, i win $640 Million Dollars in Mega Millions Ticket, i am making this known to everyone out there who have been trying all day to win the lottery jackpot, believe me this is the only way to win the lottery, this is the real secret we all have been searching for. I want to thank Dr Kachi for his endless help and his from the United States. you can contact via email [email protected] or through Text and Call Number: +1 (209) 893-8075 his website: https://drkachispellcaster.wixsite.com/my-site
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Mark Cornell
2/4/2025 08:48:20 am
I was going through a rough time in my life and it greatly affected my union with my wife. We had so many emotional problems and struggles and this alone made us pay less attention to each other's need. While i was on it trying to fix my problems and get back on my feet so that i can reshape my marriage and make it work better, my wife had women around her that influenced her wrongly and made her took the wrong part by walking away. That incident alone broke me and i was sure she wasnt doing everything she doing with her right senses. I did what i can to restore peace but it never worked and i had to Contact Dr Isikolo who made it possible for me fix the problem. He worked for me and restored back the love and connection between me and my wife and she returne back home. The result of his work started manifesting just after 48 hours as promised and i can bold say everything is fine between us now and we are both happy together, I am here to validate the information out there that Dr Isikolo is a good and honest man that you can trust to help you with your problems. His webpage(https://isikolo-temple.com) and you can as well text him via WhatsApp +234-8133261196.
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Brittany Lowery
2/4/2025 01:59:39 pm
After being in relationship with him for seven years, he broke up with me, I did everything possible to bring him back but all was in vain. I wanted him back so much because of the love I have for him and I begged him with everything, I made promises but he refused. I contacted a spell caster called DR ISIKOLO that could help me cast a spell to bring him back but I am the type that never believed in spell, I had no choice than to try it, I mailed the spell caster, and he told me there was no problem that everything will be okay before two days, that my ex will return to me before three days, he cast the spell and surprisingly in the second day, it was around 4pm. My ex called me and we resolved the differences and we are happy together now. Anybody could need the help of the spell caster and you can review his website (https://isikolo-temple.com) or call/text him via WhatsApp on: +2348133261196.
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Noel Patricio
2/5/2025 11:37:52 pm
A Life-Changing Experience, Dr Kachi A Testimony of Gratitude
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Teddy Marcelino
2/6/2025 02:28:46 pm
I almost lost my marriage when I watched my wife turned into a total stranger and left the kids and I. I was so furious knowing I had done everything possible to ensure I sustained my marriage as a father and husband. The terrible fights we had traumatized me and I couldn’t function properly as a man. I kept on trying to find out what made her did what she did which made me contacted Dr Isikolo. I was surprised to have found out that she was under a huge manipulation from a man who wanted to ruin my marriage with her and take her away from me. Dr Isikolo had to intervene and fixed the problem thereby ensuring she was rescued from the claws of the dark magic charm they used on her. Knowing that I was able to get my family together again with the help of Dr Isikolo gives me joy and I am forever thankful to him. You can read about his works on his page (https://isikolo-temple.com) or might as well text him via WhatsApp on: +2348133261196.
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Michael Eric
2/10/2025 09:55:56 pm
My name is Michael Eric, I want to thank Dr Ughulu for making me the happiest man on this earth. I have been playing a lottery jackpot for over 2 years all I have won is 5000 thousand dollars ever since I still keep playing it and I haven't win again I was wondering what was happening, until the day I was looking for how to win online I saw a comment how someone testifies Dr. Ughulu it was very interesting and I also sent him message to help me, and I explained everything to him, so he did everything for me and gave me six Powerball winning numbers. I played it and I won, when the winning numbers came out I was among the people and my winning price was $196 Million Dollars,what else can I say? Thank you so much Dr. Ughulu. I really appreciate what you did for me. Contact his website: https://drughulupowerfulsp.wixsite.com/my-site-ughulu or Text/Call:+1 (252) 409-1841 or via email: [email protected] WHATSAPP NUMBER: +1(720) 794-2516
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Anna joe
2/11/2025 12:12:30 am
My name is Anna joe from USA. I was deeply in love with a man, and even after he began cheating on me, I still wanted him back. Unfortunately, things didn't work out as he chose to stay with the person he cheated on me with, which hurt me deeply. Six weeks later, I read a post on a relationship forum about a spell caster who helps people get their lost love back through love spells. I decided to contact the spell caster, Doctor masako through WhatsApp and explained my problem to him. Amazingly, within 48 hours, dr masako brought my man back to me, and now we're getting married soon. All thanks to doctor masako I highly recommend him to anyone in need of help to get their ex back. You can call or add him on WhatsApp at +2349047144277 Email him at [email protected]. Visit his website https://doctormasako2.wixsite.com/drmasakospelltemple
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Ferdinand Witter
2/11/2025 02:00:57 pm
The marital crisis I was going through came to and end when Dr Isikolo got involved. Just like every other couples out there, we had our differences and I ensure I did my best to lead her right, provide for her and my kids and also protected them. We both made sacrifices to ensure we survived the union until she started acting up and deliberately had so many fights with me. The home became unpleasant for everyone else including my children. She was being manipulated by a friend who had been divorced and wanted to also ruin my marriage. I had to contact Dr Isikolo and he responded and did his best to end the issues. He restored the love and connection between us and I can tell now that whatever illusion my wife was under has been taking away and she is a better woman now. The result of what Dr Isikolo did for me that manifested after two days was what amazed me. I and my household remain grateful. I appeal to anyone who needs help to fix their relationships and marital problems to contact Dr Isikolo because the solution is sure. His webpage: https://isikolo-temple.com or text him on WhatsApp him on +2348133261196
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Michael Raymond
2/11/2025 10:22:48 pm
I want to share my experience about how I got My Wife Back. After three years of a broken marriage, My Wife left me with our two kids. We were constantly quarreling and struggling, which ultimately led to a serious breakup. My wife packed her things and moved away. Despite this, I was determined to reunite with her. But I was told by a reliable source, a very close co-worker, that Dr Kachi is a very dedicated, gifted and talented person, Then I met Dr. Kachi, a remarkable spell caster, who assured me that my wife would return within 24 hours after he prepared a love spell. I’m thrilled to say that Dr. Kachi kept his word! My Wife came back home, fell to her knees, and begged for my forgiveness. Today, our family is back together, and we are happy, healthy, and living together again. Dr. Kachi made my dreams come true by helping us reunite. If you need his assistance, divorce issues in your relationship you can contact him Text or Call at +1 (209) 893-8075, or visit his website at https://drkachispellcaster.wixsite.com/my-site Email him at [email protected]
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Arlene Brown
2/12/2025 01:34:57 pm
It gladdens my heart to be out here to say a word of thank you to Dr Isikolo.
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Trudy Morris
2/13/2025 02:16:30 pm
I never knew I could get my fiancé back to me until I contacted Dr Isikolo who helped me. I had a terrible misunderstanding with my man and we went different ways. I was down emotionally and knew not what to do to help the situation. So I got to know about Dr Isikolo. I contacted him and got him to help with my problems. He told me all that I needed to know and understood and I complied with procedures and he eventually fix the problem for me and now I and my fiancé are back together and I know we will get married soon. It won’t have been possible if Dr Isikolo didn’t help me as promised. The result of his work surely manifest after 48 hours and it 100% guaranteed. Its visible for me to see the effect of the result of everything he did for me and truly the love and affection between i and my fiance is restored back fully and it gladdens my heart that i didnt loose him to anyone out there. He can as well help you if you reach out to him now. Text him on WhatsApp him on +2348133261196 or you can review his website: https://isikolo-temple.com
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Adele Neumann
2/14/2025 02:17:27 pm
It gladdens my heart knowing i am able to come out here and tell people about Dr Lukas who fixed the problems i had in marriage and everything he did for me foster the joy and happiness between me and my husband. I was devasted when i almost lost my husband to another woman all because i had some issues with him and unknown to me also, a lady was out there doing everything possible to take my man from me. He actually left home for quite sometime and every effort i made to get him back never yeild any good result. I had to seek help from Dr Lukas who in his goodness swiftly came to my aid and fix the problem i had. My husband is back home to me and my daughter and this is mostly the best thing that has happened to me in a long while. No doubt the result of his works never fails to manifest after 2 days. You can reach out to him via email: [email protected] and also his WhatsApp number +44-7469-341745.
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David Johnson
2/15/2025 12:29:04 pm
Hello, good day everyone. I want to use this medium to share with you how my life changed from a Iberia food truck driver to who I am today. This can be anybody and it can still be you, because time is never too late. My name is David Johnson from Brooklyn, New York city! Playing the lottery was my passion. I've played for years not winning anything before I met with Dr Marcus. He was the man who gave me numbers to play after putting to work. He makes me believe in spirituality. Because I was skeptical about it. I went out that morning to play despite being sick that day. That evening a friend of mine who works in the same company called me and said 'Dave, somebody won the Powerball at the gas station. The next morning I checked my numbers. I still don't believe I've won so I have to stop back at the gas station to finally check my ticket before going into work. I looked at the board and I'm like "oh my God" I won $298.3 million. jumped up and down the store.... Quickly got back in my car, turned the music up and zoomed home. I was so happy I couldn't even eat. I was hungry but my stomach was full! All thanks to you Dr. I'm forever grateful I never believed but he changed my life, reach him today ([email protected]) or WhatsApp +234 8110492028, I believe he will be there for you as well..
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Andrew Beckett
2/17/2025 03:31:57 pm
I and my wife had a misunderstanding which led to a huge fight and she left home and returned back to her fathers house. I let my emotions got the best of me and stayed permanently away from her. Things grew worse when she started seeing another man and I never knew about it. I tried fixing the problem and getting her to return back home and she never came back. I later found out all that has been going on and decided to seek help to fix my marriage with her which made me contact Dr Isikolo. Just as expected he worked for me and the problem was fixed and I am reunited with my wife. She returned back home just after 48 hours as promised by Dr Isikolo. I am forever indebted to him for fixing the problem I had in my marriage. kindly contact him for fast and urgent Help, call/text his WhatsApp number on: +2348133261196 or review his website for more info: https://isikolo-temple.com
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Lisa
2/17/2025 06:54:09 pm
My purpose out here today is to share this article to the world about how Doctor Ogudugu helped me in getting back my EX-boyfriend who broke up with me 4 months ago. I tried all I could to make him see reasons with me so that we can continue our relationship but he denied me. Thank God for giving me the thought of going into the internet for help, I searched properly and I saw different reviews of Doctor Ogudugu and I insisted on giving it a try by contacting him via what's app on (+2348163026536). He gave me reason to live again and he prepared a spell and told me that my Ex-boyfriend will come back to me within 48 hours. Can you believe it, my EX-boyfriend came back to me and our wedding will be held Soon. Contact him now!!! if you need any help. Email: [email protected] and he does a lot of spells. Once again i want to say am very grateful for your help
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2/18/2025 06:12:07 am
A flexible yet structured rehab option providing therapy, counseling, and support while allowing individuals to maintain daily responsibilities.
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